Saw a star shining bright last night...

This is gonna be a tough one...

Last week, I was given the tragic news that my friend had passed over St.Patrick's Day weekend. I remember thinking "what, you can't be serious" but after my friend who told me repeated it, with her eyes very tearful, I knew it was true. I had just talked to this friend a few days before hearing the news and up and out of the blue, she was gone. There aren't any answers to how she died but me and friend, Michelle, knew the state of mind she was in and we fear the worse.

A part of me blames myself, feeling like I was trying to pressure into a relationship. We were sort of involved but the only time was able to see her was when Michelle was involved. We would make plans for us to be alone but anytime I would call to confirm our dates, she would never answer and I wouldn't hear from her for about a week or two. After a while, I was a little pissed about this always happening and remember saying to her that I was tired of this happening. I didn't yell at her but I may have been a too frank about the situation.  We did straighten out the situation but she did suggest that I was talking to anyone else, I should probably go ahead and be with that person instead. Maybe that should have been a warning sign. The last time I spoke with her, we just talked about my worries in school and she had to finish washing dishes. She told me to call her back, which I did but I didn't get answer. If only I knew that would be the last time I would hear from her.

When me and Michelle attended her viewing, I was surprised to see that her viewing was open casket. I was able to meet her family, who kept saying something that will stick with me for a long time, "She talked about you and Michelle all the time". Here I thought I was just this guy who kept stringing along and it turns out I was one of the few bright spots in her life. When I was walking home that night, I just decided to look up into the sky and I saw the stars and one star in particular shone very bright. I'm not a very religious person, being agnostic, but I do like to think that it was her, letting me know she had found her peace.

Goodbye Candace, I guess this is my way of saying goodbye. You'll always have a special place in my heart.
Always,
Me