This is gonna be a tough one...
Last week, I was given the tragic news that my friend had passed over St.Patrick's Day weekend. I remember thinking "what, you can't be serious" but after my friend who told me repeated it, with her eyes very tearful, I knew it was true. I had just talked to this friend a few days before hearing the news and up and out of the blue, she was gone. There aren't any answers to how she died but me and friend, Michelle, knew the state of mind she was in and we fear the worse.
A part of me blames myself, feeling like I was trying to pressure into a relationship. We were sort of involved but the only time was able to see her was when Michelle was involved. We would make plans for us to be alone but anytime I would call to confirm our dates, she would never answer and I wouldn't hear from her for about a week or two. After a while, I was a little pissed about this always happening and remember saying to her that I was tired of this happening. I didn't yell at her but I may have been a too frank about the situation. We did straighten out the situation but she did suggest that I was talking to anyone else, I should probably go ahead and be with that person instead. Maybe that should have been a warning sign. The last time I spoke with her, we just talked about my worries in school and she had to finish washing dishes. She told me to call her back, which I did but I didn't get answer. If only I knew that would be the last time I would hear from her.
When me and Michelle attended her viewing, I was surprised to see that her viewing was open casket. I was able to meet her family, who kept saying something that will stick with me for a long time, "She talked about you and Michelle all the time". Here I thought I was just this guy who kept stringing along and it turns out I was one of the few bright spots in her life. When I was walking home that night, I just decided to look up into the sky and I saw the stars and one star in particular shone very bright. I'm not a very religious person, being agnostic, but I do like to think that it was her, letting me know she had found her peace.
Goodbye Candace, I guess this is my way of saying goodbye. You'll always have a special place in my heart.
Always,
Me
Monday, March 26, 2012
Sunday, March 11, 2012
The slow process of becoming an RPG fan pt.2
I didn't realize this story would be so long---->
Years after "slow process" pt.1, In the PS1 heydays, there was huge hype over a new title coming to the US from Japan titled "Final Fantasy 7". Everyone seemed to be talking about this game and to be honest, I really didn't care at the time. See, when I first received my PS1, I had sworn off any game that wasn't a fighting game, due to games of any other genre being "unfair" in my mind. While all this was going on, I'd say 96-97, a lot of anime was released out of the blue and I was still heavily influenced by anime, especially a Saban produced show called Dragon Ball Z. I was obsessed with this show and after it's release, anything that was or even looked like Dragon Ball Z was bad ass. So Ironic since now I can't stand DBZ, except the Vegeta saga. Anyway, when I first saw Cloud, the main character of FF7, I thought he looked like Goku, the main character of DBZ and I suddenly wanted to play the game. Luckily, a kid up the street from me had just bought the game and he let me borrow, strangely for quite a while.
From what I recall, I was really confused and just walked around. When I ran into battles, I just pushed buttons until I actually read the box at the bottom of the screen asking what I wanted to do. After figuring out what the hell I was doing (which took a few days) I actually began having fun, especially when the guy with gun arms and the girl came along. I basically grinded, mostly because I was lost, until I ran into the first boss, who proceeded to kick my ass. Frustrated, I kept battling him until I actually stopped and planned a strategy against him and won. I was having a great time until...well, 1.the kid up the street wanted his game back and 2. the game kept freezing on a section where all I remember is that cloud and crew were on a train.
I do want to thank Final Fantasy for intriguing me and letting me know that all RPGs aren't pieces of shit. Doesn't mean I was going to buy one at the time.
to be concluded
Years after "slow process" pt.1, In the PS1 heydays, there was huge hype over a new title coming to the US from Japan titled "Final Fantasy 7". Everyone seemed to be talking about this game and to be honest, I really didn't care at the time. See, when I first received my PS1, I had sworn off any game that wasn't a fighting game, due to games of any other genre being "unfair" in my mind. While all this was going on, I'd say 96-97, a lot of anime was released out of the blue and I was still heavily influenced by anime, especially a Saban produced show called Dragon Ball Z. I was obsessed with this show and after it's release, anything that was or even looked like Dragon Ball Z was bad ass. So Ironic since now I can't stand DBZ, except the Vegeta saga. Anyway, when I first saw Cloud, the main character of FF7, I thought he looked like Goku, the main character of DBZ and I suddenly wanted to play the game. Luckily, a kid up the street from me had just bought the game and he let me borrow, strangely for quite a while.
From what I recall, I was really confused and just walked around. When I ran into battles, I just pushed buttons until I actually read the box at the bottom of the screen asking what I wanted to do. After figuring out what the hell I was doing (which took a few days) I actually began having fun, especially when the guy with gun arms and the girl came along. I basically grinded, mostly because I was lost, until I ran into the first boss, who proceeded to kick my ass. Frustrated, I kept battling him until I actually stopped and planned a strategy against him and won. I was having a great time until...well, 1.the kid up the street wanted his game back and 2. the game kept freezing on a section where all I remember is that cloud and crew were on a train.I do want to thank Final Fantasy for intriguing me and letting me know that all RPGs aren't pieces of shit. Doesn't mean I was going to buy one at the time.
to be concluded
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