Great Grandma Helen

Today, at 10:45 in the morning, I received news that my Great Grandma, Helen Otis, had passed away. While most people don't get to know their great grandparents very well, I got to know mine as she was active and willing to share her world with me.

She watched me as I was a little kid when I had summer school, when the school was just down the street from her. I originally wasn't particularly fond of being around her as she smoked and had a dog, Sammy, that annoyed the hell out of me. I'm not even sure where the turning point was where I became fond of her but I did. I think it was when I felt everyone else was forcing me to grow up, she let me be a kid. She let me be that overly sensitive, chubby little kid.

She was in bowling league and anytime I was with her, her teammates would always pinch my cheeks and tell me how cute I was. I think she sensed how annoying I found this so she always gave me a couple of dollars to play video games. On a particular day after bowling, she drove me to a little shopping center and took me inside one shop that had Spider-man and Batman on their window. She had a seat and let me run rickshaw inside this place that was filled with comic books and other memorabilia. She said I was allowed to pick out some comic books, not giving a real price range into how much to spend until I grabbed a couple of very expensive X-men comics. She would bring me back to this place, time after time until they moved.

We had our bad times too. At times, I took her for granted and acted like the spoiled brat that I was but no matter what happened between us, we would get over it because she loved me and I loved her but I think I began taking her for granted recently. I didn't contact as much as I should've, though I called her on the holidays or would try to stop by her place. I knew her health wasn't so hot and told her that I would try to check in on her but as always, life happens. When I called her for 92nd birthday, which was Tuesday, I was surprised to hear my aunt answer the phone, telling me that Great Grandma's condition worsened and that she may have had to a nursing home. I just told my aunt to keep me informed. And then today happened...

If there was one regret I ever had, it was that she never saw me graduate. When I was a child and when I "graduated" from elementary school, I didn't invite her and when she asked why, I told her because I thought she would embarrass me. She told me that she loved me but what I said hurt and at first, I shrugged it off but as I got older, I realized me saying so stupid must have been devastating for her to hear. She never got to see me march because I never really marched again. I graduated high school through summer school and just received it in the mail and I am finally graduating college, after over 10 years, this year, except she won't be there. That is the biggest regret I ever had and I wish I could take this action back with all my heart.

All I can say is goodbye Great grandma. Thank you for being one of the few people I felt that I felt believed in me. You are my rock and my sunshine and without you, my world is a little grayer.

Always and forever,
Jimaur