Her death is still a mystery to me and Michelle but I speculated it was suicide. Michelle thought the same but it has been years since we talked about so her mind night have changed. In previous blogs, I stated that Candice possibly had a lot to deal with while we were talking. I have expressed my guilt because I feel as my pushing an ultimatum didn't help matters much. I think I was doing this because 2011 was a terrible year for me, worse than 2016 but not by much. I was looking for something good to fill the void and I thought a relationship would be it.
But I did want us to work and not just because Candice happened to have big breasts. I think we were two old souls, even though I am extremely immature. I really don't know how a relationship between two depressed black people would've worked but I was willing to give it a chance.
On the subject of depression, that's the one small thing I took away from her death. It made want to advocate for suicide prevention, for others if not myself. It's painful to feel the urge to want to die and it is a feeling that I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy and I have a LOT of those.
What I want to say to you, Candice Johnson, is that I miss you. I thank you for making me feel good about myself when I didn't. I wish I could've done the same for you. Every time I feel ugly about myself, I think of you and I feel better. I'm not sure how to end this so as the saying goes, until we meet again...
Always,
Your frog prince
