Happy 10th Anniversary to the worst year of your life.

 Everyone has marked 2020 as the worst year of their lives with 2021 not getting any better. So much chaos has led many to believe that humanity has come to impasse. I too have been rocked by this year and half, worrying more about my mental stability more than anything. If anything, I've just felt sad and alone for reasons I'll save for another blog. I say this because even with all of negativity these past couple of years have brought me, they do not hold a candle to the year of 2011, which I've dubbed the worst year  of my life.

My life literally fell apart in 2011and I'm still picking up the pieces. If you personally spoken with me and I've said "Anything bad that could happen happened to me x20" about that year, I wasn't shitting you. I can only think of the relationships, friend and romantic, were either marred or straight destroyed that year. My time as full fledged student came to an end, right when I was so close to achieving my goals and my living arrangements...well, that was covered in a previous blog. I should pitch all of this to Netflix, it would be sad yet entertaining. 

Now, coming from a somewhat superstitious family, I think some of it was karma biting me in the ass because I was a difficult person in those times. Other things were VERY preventable and I was just a stubborn fuck, either giving up or just copping out, thinking things would fix themselves. 10 years later, things are still pretty fucking broken, inside and out. 😫

I feel the hard times and sadness of recent and I have had other days, weeks, months and years that sucked pretty bad (2016 kind of sucked) but I always think in those hard times "Are times 2011 bad?" 

2020 year in review

 1. What did you do in 2020 that you'd never done before?\

 Be  isolated from my friends for long periods of time due to a deadly virus literally outside my door.

2.  Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

 I didn't make one last year, not making one for this year either. (last year's answer)

3.  Did anyone close to you give birth?

  

No but one of my best friends is pregnant. She's not due until February though.

4. 4. Did anyone close to you die?

 An former co-worker that I had a crush on and a couple of former classmates passed this year. 

5. What countries did you visit?

See question #1

6.  What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020?

 My own place. This will possibly be changing in 2021

7. What dates from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

With this year, all the days seem to blend together...

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I...um...got a new phone. 

9. What was your biggest failure?

I'm still at a job that I find unfulfilling but Coronavirus can take 70% percent of the blame for that.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I was tested for Corona earlier this year but the results came back negative. I showed symptoms (only chest feeling heavy). Friend considered that I might've had bronchitis.

 11. What was the best thing you bought?

Groceries. Also see question #8.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

anyone who has stayed in contact  with me on a regular basis during this insanity. Also see Question #3

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

2020, period

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, groceries and Asian take out mostly...

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Co-Vid 19 being over with. I'm still waiting on that... 😔

16. What song will always remind you of 2020?

I dunno but it's probably something gloomy

17.  Compared to this time last year, are you:
-Happier or sadder: Sadder but in 2020, who isn't.
-thinner or fatter: I'm back to my weight fluctuating.
-Richer or poorer: Poorer but I won't explain why. Debating about starting a gofundme.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

There's a LOT I would've liked to have done if it weren't for Co-Vid. Wish I'd looked for a better job but got comfortable and thought it wouldn't be the best idea in switching jobs right now.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Be sad but isolation played a HUGE part in that.

20. How was your Christmas spent?

I was supposed to spend Christmas with my friend but they weren't feeling well. I ordered Chinese food and just chilled. I'm not a huge fan of Christmas anymore.

21.  Did you fall in love in 2020?

As always, I fall in love all the time. Even harder  since I was in isolation. 

22. Did your heart break in 2020?

Comes with falling in love all the time.

23.  What was your favorite TV program?

Other than wrestling, I didn't watch tv.

24. Did you know anybody who got married?

I know a woman I had a crush on in middle school got engaged. Beyond that, I don't recall.

25. What states did you visit in 2020?

Pandemic wouldn't even allow me to leave my town, let alone my state.

26.  Where were you when 2020 began?

Out with a friend at a downtown local bar.

27. Who were you with?

See previous answer

28. Where were you when 2020 ended? 

This is being written on New Years eve eve but due to pandemic, most likely at home.

29.  Who were you with when 2020 ended?

See previous answer

30.  What was the best book you read?

Um...😞

31. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Still synthwave, actually...

32. What did you want and get?

um, see answer #8. I also got a flat screen but it's not here at the time I'm writing this. 

33.  What did you want and not get?
Love, a better job, better living arrangements. I'm sure there's more to list but this list shouldn't be anymore depressing. (Yes, this was my answer for last year but still... 😋)

34. What was your favorite film of this year?

I really don't think I've seen anything new this year, honestly.

35. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

 I ordered Chinese food...and that's about it. Again, I'm not telling you my age.

36. Where did you go on vacation?

During a global pandemic?? 

37. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?

Pre-Pandemic: Black hipster

Post Pandemic: Pajamas

38. What kept you sane?

The friends who stayed in touch with during all of 2020, on and off line. I've said it once and I'll continue saying it, I did not take everything about this year well. I know the times were tough but I did try reaching out to friends with very few reaching back out. It was a little disheartening but those who stayed in touch, I will be forever grateful to. Wrestling and video games helped a little bit.

39. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

um...

40. What political issue stirred you the most?

ALL OF THEM! 😡

41.Did you have to go to the hospital?

Just for check up.

42. How many concerts did you see in 2020?

see the answer to #36

43. Did you have a favorite concert in 2020?

See previous answer

44. Who were the best new people you met?

I didn't meet anyone new, thanks to the pandemic

45. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?

The many, many, many, many, many breakdowns I've had during 2020.

46. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2020?

Probably the almost shouting match I got into with my mother over why I don't like Christmas.

47. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020?

"It's a bit different than what we imagined but don't worry, the future isn't set in stone. No one's is..."

48. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Now I'm feeling lonely

My mind's playing tricks on me

Scarface

"My mind's playing tricks on me"