Bull gets her flowers (a short blog)

a short one but at least it's positive.

Last night, Bull Nakano was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Bull is my favorite female wrestler of all time (Sherri Martel either tied with her or right behind) and seeing that she was only in WWF/E for only one year but leaving such an impression on me is something. She was always a domineering heel (villain) wherever she wrestled, and I always cheered for her. To find out she had been professionally wrestling since 15, even winning her first women's title at 16 is pretty damn amazing. More than anything I was doing at that age. I know she's had her ups and downs (we all do) including a very serious health scare but I'm glad she is still here, still strong and smiling more or at least more than she did when she wrestled in the states.

Sadly, her induction into the hall of the fame came at a time where I don't watch wrestling anymore (see my last blog on why) but knowing that Keiko "Bull Nakano" Aoki is finally recognized in the *ahem* "greatest" 😒wrestling organization, the organization that introduced me to her makes me smile, even a little bit.

Ah...

中野さん

WWE殿堂入りをいただき、とても嬉しく思います. あなたは私の好きな女子レスラーであり、あなたが認められていることを嬉しく思います。君は女子レスリングのためにやってきたことに対して、すべての評価に値する。皆さんのご加護とご冥福をお祈りします。

誠意をこめて、アメリカからのファン

I hope this didn't come out as gibberish. 

Our Queen, Bull

Last night 2: Goodbye joshi...

 In 2020, I wrote blog where I praised wrestling for keeping me distracted in what can only be described as a tumultuous year. I praised the wrestlers and companies for putting their lives on the line so that regular fans, like me can have some kind escape from what 2020 dumped on all of us. Now, it's 2024 and my view of wrestling has flipped. It is a bane to me now, something I mute, block and turn off at every chance it is put in front of me. And somehow, I can't escape it.

I know I sound hyperbole but I'm just expressing how hurt I am. I keep trying to figure out who to blame for my newly strong disliking of wrestling. I look at AEW and WWE, the companies I've sworn off. Between 2020 to today, the companies have become mirror opposites as AEW has become directionless and WWE has become a powerhouse. Their owners, a fanboy with money who may be in over his head and a smug former wrestler who openly admits to how many backs he's stabbed to get where he is (yes, I know Triple H isn't technically the owner, but he seems in charge). I've even found myself blaming Phil Brooks, a highly popular but volatile wrestler who made waves, positive or negative. wherever he went. 

I look at the IWC (Internet Wrestling community) who may be the closest to who I DO want to lay all the blame on. Everyone has said the IWC is a niche group and while that is true, they are loud and if anything negative is thrown up in my face regarding wrestling, it's from them. In the past four years, the fanbase has gone from regular(?) to rabid. The constant bickering between WWE and AEW fans was distracting to anyone who just enjoy wrestling. It was draining and it took the fun out of it. People, bigger than me, have said the words "Like what you like, just don't be dick" and nowadays, it all falls on deaf ears.

I look at myself, not being able to separate from it all. I admit, I've caught myself getting into IWC drama. Arguing with strangers, friends over an wrestling organization I know I'll never be a part of. As mentioned before, wrestling was there for me when I was at my lowest, more than actual friends, family and to see it come to this, in what feels like a mushroom cloud of nothing (in my eyes) but negativity of ratings, backstage scandals and just bullshit just hurts me deep. 

 Maybe I wrote this wanting understanding, for someone to tell me to keep my head. Maybe I wrote this just because these feelings have been building up for a while, but I know getting this off my chest doesn't make it better, it just makes my pain more visible. 

It just sucks because I've been a fan of wrestling since 1985 and I never thought I'd walk away from it. 

fuck

my first post, "Last night a joshi saved my life" can be found here:

Diaries of a Super Duper Senior: Struggle Summer 3: Last night a joshi saved my life

2023 Year in review

 1. What did you do in 2023 that you'd never done before?

    Um... 

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

      I haven't made a new year resolution in years.

3.  Did anyone close to you give birth?

    I...don't think so...?

4. Did anyone close to you die?

    A very close friend of mine passed away in early May. I didn't find out until the last week of May.

5. What countries did you visit?

    Just my room. 

6.  What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023?

    If you've read my previous year in reviews, you know the answer.

7. What dates from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

    May 20th:  "Hey, just realized I haven't seen or heard from you in a while. Everything okay??"

    I found out she passed in her home 2 weeks prior, a week later.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

    I saw one of my best friends who I hadn't seen since 2018 and met her twins.

9. What was your biggest failure?

    This blog post you're reading, first one I've written all year. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

    Last week, I went to the ER with severe back pain. Turned out I had had a really back spasm. Shows me for         exercising. 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

    Flowers for my mom. Just cause.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

    Not mine, that's for damn sure.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

    Probably mine.

14.  Where did most of your money go?

    Groceries, eating at places that are WAY above my price range. 

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

        see answer to question #8. Also, a family reunion in late August.

16. What song will always remind you of 2023?

        Dunno but it was probably something Citypop

17.  Compared to this time last year, are you:

        -Happier or sadder: 🔵

        -thinner or fatter: my weight fluctuates. A lot more than normal these days.

        -Richer or poorer: Poorer but I've spent money like someone who's not apartment hunting

18.  What do you wish you'd done more of?

        You see this blog entry here...

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

    Wishing more people like my facebook and twitter posts. Engaging in fights with the IWC

20.  How was your Christmas spent?

    This is being written on 11/06/2023

21.   Did you fall in love in 2023?

        All the time

22. Did your heart break in 2023?

    Comes with falling in love all the time.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

    I don't think I watched any real tv this year. I even cut back on wrestling.

24. Did you know anybody who got married?

        A couple of people I went to high school with. 

25. What states did you visit in 2023?

    Just the one I live in.

26. Where were you when 2023 began?

       At home, probably.

27. Who were you with?

    Myself.

28. Where were you when 2023 ended?

    This is being written on 11/06/2023

29. Who were you with when 2023 ended?

    See previous answer.

30.  What was the best book you read?

        Well, I never finished those books from last year...

31.  What was your greatest musical discovery?

        The Numbers, a new wave band that only lasted from 1980-1982

32. What did you want and get?

        Time with friends and family.

33. What did you want and not get?

        Too much to list. Still don't have my own place or a PS4...

34.  What was your favorite film of this year?

    Sly (Sylvester Stallone documentary)

35. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

    I honestly can't remember. I turned none of your damn business.

36.  Where did you go on vacation?

    Probably in my room.

37. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023?

    Jeans and/or Longjohns 

38.  What kept you sane?

    I don't think I am anymore. 

39.  Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

    Drawing a blank at the moment (not saying anyone didn't)

40. What political issue stirred you the most?

    Where do I start??

41. Did you have to go to the hospital?

    In May, I woke up with terrible back pain that so bad, I had to go to the ER in the early morning. Turned out to extremely painful back spasm. Shows me for exercising 😐

42.  How many concerts did you see in 2023?

    None

43.  Did you have a favorite concert in 2023?

    Zilch

44. Who were the best new people you met?

    Henry and Jack, my friend's twin toddlers (no, the other one)

45. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?

    a VERY NASTY, VERY LOUD argument with a family member in May wasn't my finest moment.

46. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2023?

    The MANY arguments I got into with the IWC (Internet wrestling community). It has affected me so much that I'm very ready to walk away from it. Sad, I've been a wrestling fan 1985. 

47. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023?

    "Life is addition up until the age of 40, and after that, it's subtraction"- Sylvester Stallone

48. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

    not a song lyric but one of the last things my friend said to me before she passed: 

    "Im grateful that you stuck it out with me & wish you nothing but the best..."

See ya, Stax

2022 Year in review

 1. What did you do in 2022 that you'd never done before?

 Get furloughed...I guess.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

 I don't think I've made a new year's resolutions since...??

3.  Did anyone close to you give birth?

 If so, they aren't coming to mind at the moment.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

 As I write this, my aunt (My grandmother's sister) passed last week.

5.  What countries did you visit?

 Just my room. 

6.  What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2022?

 If you read previous "year in reviews", take a guess...

7. What dates from 2022 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

July 27th, my kid sister's wedding, which I couldn't attend.  March 14th, the passing of childhood hero Scott Hall aka Razor Ramon

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

 I met scream queen Linnea Quigley. Check that off my bucket list.

9. What was your biggest failure?

 Not finding my own place, especially when space was needed, driving me to a deep depression.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Co-vid, vaccines and constant back problems.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

 um, a new razor? Manga?

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

...💆

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I'm sure someone's did...

14. Where did most of your money go?

Groceries and Chinese food, probably

15.  What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Seeing friends who I had not seen in quite some time.

16.  What song will always remind you of 2022?

... 🙎

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

 -Happier or sadder: Quite sadder.

-thinner or fatter: fluctuating

-Richer or poorer: I have money but it's all going towards one thing. 

18.  What do you wish you'd done more of?

 Where do I start?? 

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

 Crying

20.  How was your Christmas spent?

This is being written the first week of December. 

21.   Did you fall in love in 2022?

Like every year, I fall in love all the time. 

22. Did your heart break in 2022?

Comes with falling in love all the time. 

23. What was your favorite TV program?

Warrior but given that show was released a couple of years ago, can't really call it new.

24.  Did you know anybody who got married?

My kid sister. I couldn't make it due to guilt. 

25. What states did you visit in 2022?

Just the one I live in.

26.  Where were you when 2022 began?

At home, probably...

27. Who were you with?

myself, probably...

28.  Where were you when 2022 ended? 

This is being written the second week of December.

29. Who were you with when 2022 ended?

See previous question and its answer. 

30. What was the best book you read?

...Akira Toriyama's Manga theater? Booty Royale (don't ask!)?

31.  What was your greatest musical discovery?

Nothing new

32. What did you want and get?

When I get it, I'll let you know...

33.  What did you want and not get?

Too much to list. Still don't have my own place or a PS4...

34. What was your favorite film of this year?

Wakanda Forever

35. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Went grocery shopping at the Asian supermarket and ate Chinese food the day of. The next day, I reconnected with an old friend and met one of her twin sons. I turned 40

36. Where did you go on vacation?

Out of my room.

37. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022?

Jeans or Longjohns

38.  What kept you sane?

This year, with everything that's happened, I really don't know

39. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

um...

40. What political issue stirred you the most?

Well, when one of your favorite artist becomes antisemitic and one of your favorite comedians becomes homophobic and transphobic, it's a tad awkward.

41. Did you have to go to the hospital?

For check ups, mostly

42. How many concerts did you see in 2022?

None

43. Did you have a favorite concert in 2022?

No

44. Who were the best new people you met?

Gabriel and Gideon, my friends twin toddlers.

45. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?

Besides the mental breakdown I had in late August, I missed my kid sister's wedding because I missed my big sister's wedding. I feel bad for missing both.

46. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2022?

The mental breakdown or me waiting almost 3 hours for friend for lunch (the friend was late due to no fault of their own). I just felt like a goof sitting in a restaurant that long. 

47. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2022?

From last year: "It's a bit different than what we imagined but don't worry, the future isn't set in stone. No one's is..." 

48. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

"...Raise your downcast face and look at the sky

give me peace, in my hands, starting over

smile & smile, on a shooting star, you're a shining angel

heart and heart, at this moment..." 

"Smile & Smile" by Aura

Rest in Peace, Aunt Tiny, Kevin Conroy, Jason David Frank and DJ Twitch

Freethought your mind 2: Geek 2 Geek

 Oy vey, how do I keep getting involved with self-destructive social groups? 

Ages ago, I wrote an entry about the highs and lows of being part of nonreligious college group. Well, this time, at least religion wasn't involved. 

As a fan of bad movies and riffing (think Mystery Science Theater 3000), I fell in with an online riffing group I'll just call "Jokes n' Java. I discovered via online personality The Cinema Snob. When I first began attending their events, it took time to get noticed due to being in such a crowded environment. I tried putting out things that would come off as odd (I let it be known that I'm black and liked riffing) but I just learned to point out something humorous about the bad movie go from there. Through time, I began seeing myself the "straight man" of the group. Whenever someone said something EXTREMELY off color, I would be the "really, guys?"...guy. Not sure if I'm correctly describing a straight man in comedy.

It was fun to being a part of the community, finding people who shared a likeness in interests (even found some of the members are fans of tokusatsu) and interacting with some of them outside of the website JnJ was on. Through time, known online personalities joined and the site became bigger, but a few things happened that led to what felt like a odd change in the group. 

1. One of the founders, I'll just call him guy 1, left the group. They were dealing with their lives and it led to one of the few good things to come from the group, the saying that "Real life comes first". This is absolutely correct when it comes to anything online. 

2. Guy B became solely in charge of JnJ and while I originally had no qualms with him, it felt like he began changing. He came up with another motto, "agree to disagree". I'm sure he didn't actually say that but still. I don't knock this because there have been several disagreements between group member, myself included, so I guess he saw that tensions were running within the group.

The 3rd thing, however... this will take a moment. Well, CTC happened. If you are curious of what that is, let's just call it... a clusterfuck. A LARGE group of content creators vented about their time at a larger internet base they were affiliated with. Well, Guy B was ever so slightly connected to the event, via Cinema Snob, who stuck with site. It felt like  Guy B made it his life's duty to shit on those who left. Do I believe that there were some exaggerations? One or two BUT I am also of the belief of "where there's smoke..." . 

Movie riffs would stop suddenly for him to just vent about how soft those affected by CTC were. Sadly, he had a LOT of people that agreed with him and soon JnJ went from "agree to disagree" to "agree to disagree...unless you disagree with me. Then, you're a...". I slowly became disillusioned and began not attending as much. On top of this, I felt a little left out when I contributed quite a bit.  I will admit that I was angry for this. I did the one thing I shouldn't have done, I made the group my life. Thankfully, I wasn't the only one. There was no uprising, we just didn't attend as much. 

I'm older and the drama going on was very childish and when someone I know feels threatened to the point to quit the internet with the drama being a factor (not the largest factor but still) and disappearing, it's time for me to just not be there anymore. I stayed friends with a few people who talked about how in shambles JnJ was. Guy B and another contributor had a HUGE falling out and that person went back to their own projects and Guy B is still running JnJ. He's got new fans now who hang on his every word and the old ones who stick by his side and I always want to ask them what keeps them doing the same. 

Maybe they got so involved, they did what I did and make it their lives.

Saw a star shining bright: a decade later

 A decade is a long time. In that timespan, there can many helloes and goodbyes and sometimes, goodbyes aren't fair. In this decade, so many have come and gone out of my life that some goodbyes are a blur and some just stick. March 17th of this year marks a  decade of Candace Johnson saying goodbye. She is one who stuck.

I've been writing this blog for about 10 years and our goodbye was one of the first entries.  I've written about the star I saw the night of her viewing, the words said about me from her parents and my thoughts of her. All the time passed and I can't believe a woman like her could like schlub like me. 

I'm sure I've talked about the details in previous blogs about how we met and our instantly hitting it off, the missed phone calls, etc... but in these passing years, I wonder if I would still hold up to her standards. 

These past few years, I'm not as optimistic as I was in our time together and I wonder if I would have become this way if she were here. You don't judge yourself by the people who have come in and out of your life but some, you just can't help but to. There ARE people I just know I would have been a better person if they had stayed. Some, I've pushed away and some who just left. Maybe I would've been better with her or maybe I would've just drug her down to my level. 

I'm rambling because I dunno what else to say except I miss you. 

Forever,

your 🐸👑

2021 Year in Review

 1. What did you do in 2021 that you'd never done before?
    Be more responsible with money or at least trying.

2.  Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
    I didn't make one last year, not making one for this year either. (Last year's answer)

3.  Did anyone close to you give birth?
      3 friends had twins, and another surprised her pregnancy on me, giving birth in June.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

    A cousin passed away in September.

    
5. What countries did you visit?
    No

6.  What would you like to have in 2022 that you lacked in 2021?
 My own place. I thought this would've been the year but I'm not sure where to start, especially on my budget.

7. What dates from 2021 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
    April 4th. The center where I worked completely shut down, going 100% remote. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
    I... I got a co-vid vaccine. 3 of them, actually.

9. What was your biggest failure?
    Not finding my own place or a new job. Barely writing on a blog that I used to post pretty normally comes in second.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

    Um, just the recovery process of the co-vid vaccines and an unwanted tetanus shot.


 11. What was the best thing you bought?
    Groceries, some manga, long johns...

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
   My nephews turned 18 and graduated from high school this year. 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
    I'm not naming names but quite a few people who I'm close with have said things that have     disgusted me

14. Where did most of your money go?
    See answer #11 and add bills to that.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
    I dunno, possible anime releases that I never got around to purchasing.

16. What song will always remind you of 2021?
    I dunno but it's probably consisting of loud screeching.

17.  Compared to this time last year, are you:
-Happier or sadder: Sadder. I thought 2021 would be way better but not by much.
-thinner or fatter: As always, my weight flucuates. 
-Richer or poorer: Poorer but I'm trying to save up for a new place.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
     Let my feelings be known more. Try and do more instead of saying I would and then get tired not even try. I did that alot       this year.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
    See #18

20. How was your Christmas spent?
 This is being written on Christmas eve so that is up in the air.

21.  Did you fall in love in 2021?
    As always, I fall in love all the time.  

22. Did your heart break in 2021?
    Comes with falling in love all the time.

23.  What was your favorite TV program?
    Other than wrestling, I didn't really watch tv.

24. Did you know anybody who got married?
    My ex (not to me, obviously) and my sister got married this year.

25. What states did you visit in 2021?
    None at the moment. I was going to go out of town for Christmas but due to the pandemic, that didn't     happen

26.  Where were you when 2021 began?
    At home, due to the pandemic.

27. Who were you with?
    me

28. Where were you when 2021 ended? 
    This is being written on Christmas eve.

29.  Who were you with when 2021 ended?
    See previous answer

30.  What was the best book you read?
    Um, I dunno but it was probably manga.

31. What was your greatest musical discovery?
    Still synthwave

32. What did you want and get?
    erm...

33.  What did you want and not get?
Love, a better job, better living arrangements. I'm sure there's more to list but this list shouldn't be any more depressing. (Yes, this was my answer for last year but still... 😋)

34. What was your favorite film of this year?
I really don't think I've seen anything new this year, honestly.

35. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
 I ordered Chinese food...and that's about it. Again, I'm not telling you my age.

36. Where did you go on vacation?
    nowhere

37. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2021?
    Longjohns. 

38. What kept you sane?
Same as last years, the friends who stayed in touch with me. I didn't take things well this year either and I know the times were tough, but I did try reaching out to friends with very few reaching back out. It was a little disheartening but those who stayed in touch, I will be forever grateful to. Wrestling and video games helped a little bit.

39. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
um...

40. What political issue stirred you the most?
ALL OF THEM! 😡

41.Did you have to go to the hospital?
    My first two co-vid shot and a checkup. The booster was at a CVS.

42. How many concerts did you see in 2021?
    none

43. Did you have a favorite concert in 2021?
See previous answer

44. Who were the best new people you met?
    Toby's brother's John. That might be it.

45. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
    The constant reflecting on the past. I kept crying because I just looking back on all the mistakes I've made in life. It's not healthy but when you have so much time on your hands...

46. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2021?
    Storming out of my place, in my longjohns, after a disagreement I had involving a discussion about     my sister's wedding.

47. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2021?
"It's a bit different than what we imagined but don't worry, the future isn't set in stone. No one's is..." Also see answer #45

48. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

    

Not a song but an old quote.

"Old fools were once young fools too..."